52and40/25 Regenerative Circuits



The hardest bit of writing for me isn’t finding ideas or receiving rejections. Both of those are plentiful for me at this stage.  Both of those are great teachers too – to be appreciated and understood just as the nice, easy bits are.


For me, the hardest bit’s waiting for feedback.  The no-woman’s land of yay or nay.

The Isle of Maybe.

I’m a feedback junkie – reacting to feedback is my fuel for the next thing.

I guess I need to cultivate a better relationship with my own feedback, for the between bits.



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52and40/24 Galaxy Formation


I grew up thinking I had an un-mathematic brain.  Yet as I’ve aged I’ve discovered my brain’s just fine with mathematics.   Science too.  Whaddya know till you retry?

Viewing an often chaotic world through an organised lens can be comforting.  I’ve found maths and science have overlap with understanding human behaviour, too.  This week, with help, I’m considering fractals;

‘Fractals are infinitely complex patterns… […] …self-similar across different scales. Driven by recursion, fractals are images of dynamic systems – the pictures of Chaos.  Fractal patterns are extremely familiar, since nature is full of fractals.’





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52and40/22 Uprising


Our wee extension’s starting soon and early signs say the plants are keen on change this summer too.

We’ve imposed new garden structure by getting rid of the decrepit shed, clearing the Krugeresque brambles and waving cheerio to 9m of mixed hedge which only ever managed to look tortured, despite optimistic pruning.


A winter project which leaked into spring was a new boundary fence.  With this came unexpected clarity about divvying up remaining space.  Digging awaits.

Clarity’s good in these mad Brexit times (as are friends with doors which make me smile).


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52and40/21 Pivot Point


Years ago, while reading about dog training, I learned the phrase, ‘pressure creates counter pressure’.  I was struggling with our then enormous puppy pulling on the lead.  The phrase underlined my feeling that yanking back was only making my arm hurt more and my stress levels soar. So I stopped yanking back.  Disengaged from negativity.  Got used to standing, waiting for fresh eyes and curiousity.  Eventually, it worked.

Scotland’s at a crossroads about whether, among other things, we value evolving multi-culturalism over a United Kingdom.  Yes or No.

Pressure and counter pressure.






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52and40/20 Pigs Might Fly


We took ourselves to Raasay in February.

A proper road trip – a long time in the car, sweets, music, stops for the dog to wee, chats about memories.  Maniacs in white vans, eye-spy and the name game.

Does it all sound perfect?

It wasn’t.  We fought, too.  There were hideous tensions as well as laughs and Kodak moments.  Families trying to keep growing together at the same time as letting kids grow up are like that, I reckon.  The wood of the construction makes different noises in different weather.

Roots and wings.


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52and39/13 Special Delivery

Spring’s arriving in Edinburgh.

It’s not coming all at once but rather in a series of packages that fight through the wind and the rain before bursting open.  Little love bombs of colour and sunshine, drying things out and birthing newness that winter had put in a cupboard and told us to forget about.

Everyone seems happier, kinder and more open in the sunshine.  The summer we arrived in Edinburgh was grim.  The weather was awful and people were not for talking.  I realise I can take that less personally now.




52and39/9 Cognitive Dissonance

When we think one thing and do another, we experience cognitive dissonance.  It’s when our thoughts kinda get into a fight with our circumstances.


Same thing when we’re confronted with a
52and39situation that doesn’t chime with what we know to be right; we’re conflicted as we try to fit ideas or people together and put a frame of understanding around them all.

Edinburgh’s full of old next to new, unexpected next to predictable – an urban harmony playing host to us all as we make and sort through experiences, thoughts and behaviour.